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Clearing the fog

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4/20/2021

Relief

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​On count 1: Guilty
On count 2: Guilty
On count 3: Guilty

And I sobbed.

I had been sitting in my backyard intending to read, but all I was really doing was staring at the electric pink blossoms still gripping the redbud trees and watching the wind ripple the water on the lake. I had a lot on my mind, so I never even cracked open the book.
​
When the clouds moved in, I got a little chilly so I went inside and absentmindedly turned on the news. I saw that a verdict in the Derek Chauvin case was expected momentarily, so I sat silent, my heart racing.

When the judge walked in the courtroom, my anxiety rose. I told myself I couldn’t expect these jurors to do what so few others had ever done before.

But they did. They found Officer Chauvin guilty, in the eyes of the courts, of murdering George Floyd.

I am not Black. I’m still trying to grasp the reality of systemic racism. I have never been followed by the police or interrogated for suspicious behavior. I have never lost a family member to police brutality. But I sobbed like a baby after Chauvin was convicted.

The last couple of weeks have been so difficult. First it was Daunte Wright. Then Adam Toledo. Multiple mass shootings. 

Even for a privileged bystander, it never, never seems to end.

But today we got a little relief. A brief glimmer of hope that something, something could change. That justice was possible.

Many are telling us not to read too much into this one verdict. It doesn’t change the family’s grief. It doesn’t change the fact that more Black lives were taken by police today. It doesn’t diminish the fear some parents have each time their child leaves home. It doesn’t change the flagrant racism and hatred we continue to witness in our country.

But maybe this will help us find the strength to keep fighting for right. Perhaps it will prevent us from giving in to despair.

I am relieved. I am even a little hopeful. Perhaps Mr. Floyd has indeed changed the world.
​

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6 Comments
Vince Fallis
4/21/2021 06:21:31 am

Let us not waste this moment but be inspired by the grace of the Floyd family who had to prepare themselves for the possibility of yet another in the long shameful outcomes of similar crimes.The inspirational sight of white, black and brown people marching through the street of our country last summer has sent a message that we will unanimously insist on justice and fair treatment for everyone. Let that commitment walk arm in arm with hope to move us forward. We need to show our children that we are capable of making our world better. This is our duty as Americans.

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Joseph Anthony
4/21/2021 01:37:52 pm

I am relieved and happy. But isn't it a reflection of our nation's racism that in such a heavily supported case that we should have been so anxious that the jury would deliver a just verdict? Our nation is so crippled with our racism. Hear me, Lord: let this be a beginning.

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Sallie Showalter
4/21/2021 01:56:57 pm

Amen.

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Tessa Bishop Hoggard
4/21/2021 02:27:37 pm

Since that day Mr. Floyd took his left breath, our days were often filled with angst, trepidation, the blues. Now that accountability has risen victorious, let our blues spring into a fountain of hope... Hope that a person’s hue becomes invisible in the face of justice.

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Bob Patrick
4/21/2021 09:36:57 pm

The verdict is a ray of hope, and a good day for the justice system in Minneapolis. But there are lost of bars to systemic change, one of which is that policing is a volunteer profession, just like todays military. What changes are needed to change the people who raise their hands?

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Cathy Eads
4/26/2021 08:01:11 pm

I was so glad to be in my car listening to the radio as the judge read the guilty verdicts! It was momentous to me, to hear it straight from the judge’s mouth. May this be a catalyst for more justice in our “justice” system, for examining and reforming policing throughout the country and, I hope, a change of heart in people who thought (think?) black and brown people deserve inhumane treatment because of their skin color. I agree with Joseph, the fact that we were so surprised by the guilty verdicts in a case with such clear evidence, shows just how far our systems have to go to approach some level of equity. And yet it also demonstrates how we continue to stumble our way in that direction.

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    Between the debilitating effects of age and the 24-hour crush of mind-bending news, my brain is frequently in a fog. Nonetheless. I'll occasionally try to sweep aside the ashy gray matter and shed some light on what's going on at Murky Press. Perhaps together we can also gain a little insight into how we can better use words to organize and clarify the world around us.

    Cheers! 
    Sallie Showalter, Murky Press 

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